15 January 2018

Losing My Religion

Losing My Religion is a great song by R.E.M... I really enjoy listening to this band, however, neither the band nor the song has much to do with today's post. The reason I used this title is, that it fit the cause or topic.

Born a Christian

I was born and raised like a Christian, luckily as a Lutheran Christian. I always heard bad things from catholic friends. Things like, they had to learn too much and that they have to go to the church every week and to go to confession. I didn't have to do any of those. It felt freer and I enjoyed it. My own faith? Hm. It changed according to how things were going in life. Sometimes I prayed to the god other times I didn't. Just like many others at a young age, I thought of god being some old man in heaven. Of course, it bums out after years that nothing ever happens and that God isn't doing anything. So if you think about god being some old man or some powerful entity that can change anything and is omnipotent you kinda start to doubt everything.

Apparently, There's This Thing Called Agnostic

A few years into the Realschule, one of the subsequent schools you have to go to - if you had to choose between the best and most exhausting education, the worst and most chill education and a middle path, this would've been the middle path. I met this one guy that came to our class. It was a weird fellow. He was like hardly even in school always missing and yet he kept getting the best grades. On raising questions about his state teachers told us that he had a psychic problem. Unusual but happens, I guess? Anyways on someday - I don't remember if it was the teacher, me or another student - he was asked what he believes in and explained that he's agnostic and what that means. I don't remember the details but it must've sounded perfect for me back in the day. So obviously I started to call myself agnostic as well. I really liked the idea behind it.

What Is Agnostic?

In case you don't know. People who call themselves agnostic stopped wondering about the question of whether or not God exists. The basic premise of this religion is that asking yourself if god exists and how to behave costs too much energy and time. So instead they're going for an approach to say god either exists or not, we can't prove it, we can't disprove it so just live with it. At least this is what I've taken from it and how I've lived for quite some time until... something happened. Years later, though.

A New Era of My Life Started

So after graduation and finding a job, working there, in the third year of my apprenticeship I met this shy being online in an MMORPG WildStar and I kinda got talking to her and figured out she likes magic. I've always liked magic since I was young. The reason behind this is partly because I had some experiences during my school where it felt like I could heal myself after being hurt or exhausted. Another reason was that I was fascinated with the idea of magic like shown in games and movies. Since all those elements of ritualism and magic from the medieval times still exist and people have been claiming magic exists for several years, you can't just write it off. At least that was my opinion. So anyways this kinda got me into magic again. I found this book called "Die Hohe Schule Der Magie" (engl.: "The High School of Magic") by Frater V. D. and started reading and working through it. A quarter way through my coincidence I found out that a person that played Guild Wars 2 has deep knowledge about magic and when we got into talking about this we kinda made a little contract. She teaches me magic at the same time I pay her in in-game items I receive. Of course, I agreed to that contract.

How Did This Affect My Religion?

Well, there's this thing called Kabbalah, which is a religious-philosophical system. This kabbalah interpreted the well-known sentence differently.
So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.
 They say the idea behind this is, that God created us as gods. So we can be omnipotent. We are a god. I liked this idea and it helped me grow spiritually so I changed my religion to "agnostic with tendencies to Kabbalaism". I don't know if that's a thing but now it was. However, things didn't end there. A few years later like two or three, I've learned enough about magic to create my own opinion of it and well. From what I learned from a very distant, scientific and skeptical point of view it seemed quite obvious to me. The question if god or any god in that matter exists can be explained by how many people believe in it. If magical creatures are created by sending them attention, this would mean that gods might also exist for the same reason.

So There You Have It

This is my current belief. I believe in everything to have the potential to exist under the circumstance that at least one person believes in it. The chance for something to exist changes accordingly to the number of people who do believe them to be real.

I don't know if anyone else has reached this opinion or view on religion or if I'm the first but I have no idea what this religion is or will be called and I'm not going to come up with some stupid name so I'll leave it to others. If you know this exists or if you even know what it's called feel free to share. I'd love to know.
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I'm a junior game developer and software developer and I created this blog to share my ideas, thoughts and whatever I'm working on or doing.